Sexy AF boudoir babe…and holy heck a talented writer to boot

Meet Christy. She is an amazing, articulate, and beautiful human being. Her boudoir session was so fun and lovely. And when I asked her to answer a few Qs for the blog I wasn’t expecting responses that were quite so eloquent and thoughtful and chock full of insight and well thought out advice. Pretty please read her writing below if you have any time at all, for yourself (and for good of the whole world really). She really bared her bod and heart during the shoot and my goodness did she bare her soul with these answers. If you want to follow Christy’s fabulous TikTok she’s @Xenawarriormama. Thank you Christy, and thank you reader.

What made you interested in having a boudoir shoot? 

I'm at my highest weight right now and I didn't want to put off accepting my body until I was at a more "acceptable" weight. I've struggled with my weight since going through thyroid cancer and it appears it's not going anywhere. So I thought "what now? Do I just continue hating my amazing body that gave me a child, that backpacked Europe, that allowed me to be there for my dying spouse, that has allowed me to experience fantabulous sex JUST BECAUSE it's not the shape I want?" Fuck that. This body is more than a shape, it's a movement.

I've known Maureen for a decade and each time I saw her post sexy pics I thought "I want to do that!" It took me a bit to get there, it felt vulnerable and daunting. But one day I realized I didn't have to be at the endpoint in accepting my body in order to take boudoir pics, taking the pics was a step in the journey! I'm so glad I did. The whole process was liberating, life-giving, and self-love-making. Just wow!

How does your favorite photo from your session make you feel?

My favorite photo shows my tits, my healthy thighs, and my tummy. Oh, and my sultry eyes, don't forget my eyes. I feel mature in a good way, in an "I could devour you whole because I know what I'm doing at this point in my life" sort of way. If all I liked from the shoot was that one picture, it would have been worth it.

What would you say to a woman who doesn't think she is beautiful enough to be photographed?

If you don't feel beautiful enough to be photographed, that's the exact reason you SHOULD be photographed. It's a radical act of claiming your worthiness. Claiming your sexiness, even when you don't see it....Maureen sees it. Allow yourself to suspend your disbelief and allow yourself to gently view yourself from someone else's lens.
I think we confuse action steps (wearing "that" dress, buying a two-piece suit, having boudoir pics taken) with being at the finish line of our self-acceptance journey. Those action steps aren't the finish line, they are steps along the journey. Push yourself a little bit, grow a little bit, heal a little bit, let other women build you up. It's balm to the soul.

What are your reflections on “beauty” in our culture?

Super interesting question. I was classically beautiful by our culture's standards for many years. Thin, tall, big eyes, tits. Then I gained 100lbs from medical issues and doors were no longer opened for me, people avoided eye contact, I was invisible. The larger I got the more invisible I became. I had to become intentional about the messages I was feeding my spirit. Seeking out books (i.e. Zaftig the Case for Curves or anything by Sark), seeking out friends with an enlightened fat positive outlook, distancing myself from toxic family belief systems (which sometimes means distancing myself from family for my own healing), finding fat-friendly doctors (so hard to find), getting back into counseling. It's all sorts of intentional acts to contradict the shaming and narrowly “acceptable” beauty standards. Surprisingly I have found TikTok to be so good for me! I follow countless ample-bodied women who own their sexiness! Feeding my eyes with images of larger bodies daily has given me a virtual support system on my body acceptance journey. (What precisely do I follow to get these gorgeous sexy big women? #curvy #curvytiktok #thicktok #bodypositivity #bbw)

What are your hopes for the next generation of women? What advice would you give to them?

I'm so very excited for this next generation of women. Watching my two stepdaughters navigate body image messages has been healing for me. A few months ago I took one of my stepdaughters out to buy jeans, she's a thick and curvy young woman. She exited the dressing room, shoved the unwanted jeans in my hands and said "My thighs are too healthy for these jeans." I got teary-eyed. I would have internalized shame that my thighs didn't fit the jeans, however, she saw the jeans not fitting her. It's a paradigm shift. It's lovely.

What would you tell your 16-year-old self if you could meet her now?

First off, I'd tell her to stop abusing laxatives and restricting food. I would talk with her about generational trauma. I would offer a different narrative about body size than what her family was telling her. I'd give her a copy of Zaftig a Case for Curves (out of print but worth the investment) and Succulent Wild Woman by Sark. In a nutshell, I would offer something different than what she was hearing, seeing, and experiencing. At 16 I thought beauty standards were concrete and irrefutable. Turns out they are a crock of shit. You know what's sexy? A woman owning her worth. That shit is sexy as hell.

What do you love most about being a woman?

I do love being a woman! I'm a cis woman, pansexual. I love how soft I am. I love my strength. I love my tits. I enjoy makeup and clothing (sorry men, you got the short end of the stick). I love that I was able to grow a child inside me. There's a strength that comes from not being born into the dominant demographic (cis white male) and I value it greatly.

Who has helped you on your body acceptance journey? Who are some peeps on social media who you follow?

I have lots of friends who inspire me, and I have just a handful of friends that I consider my Dear Ones. Those women accept me as I am as well as challenge me to face my shadows. Angela Baker, Kira Mista, Margaret Gillikin, and Jennifer Burtch (all on Facebook) are my dear ones and I would not be where I am without them.

Sark, the author, while not exclusively focusing on body image in her writings, has encouraged me to claim my full humanity more than any other author. I found Sark when I was in college (Succulent Wild Women) and her narrative was 100% different from that of my mother and grandmother. It offered me another perspective on living, vibrancy, and eccentricity. I've always been eccentric and made to feel badly about it growing up. Sark came along and gave me homework to eat a mango naked by moonlight. I was electrified!

TikTok women I follow who inspire me: @dejarose98 @karajeanthickqueen @kateleonard80 @_gaiamaia @abyinreallife @sunflowersandnico @cheapain

Mostly the work had to be done by me, myself and I. Retraining thought patterns is hard work!!! I'm not "there" yet, there are still days I don't like my belly. But more days than not I love the body I'm in. I do take a few steps back after a comment is made about what I am eating or someone asks for my weight (why is that a thing?) but it doesn't decimate me like it used to. That's progress, that's growth, that's self-acceptance. I can't wait to do another boudoir shoot when I turn 50!